In which I show remarkable restraint

I'm showing remarkable restraint today. Right now, in fact. If you've chosen to click this link and are reading this, then you are currently witnessing my restraint.

You see, I badly wanted to post that I hate urinals that flush automatically because I'm always afraid that the motion detector is covertly taking pictures of my junk.

The thought struck me at Olive Garden, and I thought it was darned funny. And the use of the word “junk” sends me into paroxysms of raucous laughter. It’s just funny.

But it’s crude. Tasteless. So I won’t write it.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking “how could you know what I’m thinking? I’ve met you before, and you’re no mind reader.” Touché. Two points, however. I admit that I really don’t know what you are thinking, but rather, based upon my experience with human nature, I assume that you are thinking what I think that you are thinking. And secondly, there’s a reason that no one has ever uttered the phrase “that pedantry looks good on you.”

To which you are now probably thinking that use of the word pedantry is unnecessary, and pedantic in and of itself. I am now extending my middle finger toward you, and continuing my narrative.

I assume (satisfied?) that you are thinking “Casey, you just wrote it down. You’ve shown no restraint at all.” Ah, but I did, because I didn’t write it down. I sorely wanted to, but good taste won out. You are also thinking that “paroxysms of raucous laughter” is somewhat redundant, since no one ever is sent into paroxysms of mild chuckling. And you call ME pedantic?

So, please, admire my restraint. It’s for YOU, after all, that I’ve restrained myself and kept my filthy, filthy thoughts to myself.

So, yeah, you're welcome.